Hard to believe it's too good to be true? Well, it's not, so start believing...
Lights, Mustard, Kumquats!
A discussion on the inner soul, with Dr Blade McMac.
(Dr McMac expresses an independent opinion and in no way are his opinions and thoughts anything to do with It's Better Tinned Than Fresh.)
"Here be lights!" said Columbus when he discovered Stonehenge. Of course, the lights on the left were nothing like the lights he saw all those millions of years ago. The lights on the left are rather special actually - these fall into a category known as 'fireworks'. You put a match to them to get them started and they glow in different colours high in the clouds! What finer example of lights could someone ask for?
I don't know what that grey thing in the middle at the bottom is though.
More mustard (actually, it's just another yellow field like before but you'll have to pretend the yellow is mustard). Fields of mustard were once classed as so sacred that people even tried to build houses and boats out of them! Of course, those sort of things don't happen any more but the ideas of these ancient people have to be admired.
Also, another fact about our sacred mustard is that, when rubbed into the eyes, it really does sting quite badly - and it hurts whether you are a man, woman or child!
Do not try it on cats though, it makes them bite.
A
classic chant follows that used to be praised before the ancient kumquat
feasts;
'Oh Kumquat, Oh Kumquat,'
'If I eat a lot, Oh Kumquat,'
'Will you bestow your powers,'
'And make me big as some towers?'
'Oh Kumquat you are so beautiful,'
'I could eat you by the suitcase-full.'
Of course, it was in Latin though before, I've just translated it so you could understand what it meant.
