Welcome to...Ashby de la Zouch!
with Johnson Cock.
Bed and Breakfast.
Above you can see Ashby's premier discount bed & breakfast, Shitly Manor. For a mere £14.50 per night you can stay in a comfortable (but not necessarily clean) bed, with a lovely view of the fat boiling vats of the soap factory next door. Breakfast usually comprises of a mushroom and some peas. If you give the landlord a nudge, for an extra £30.00 a night he'll fix you up with a dirty hooker for the night (if Syphilis Sophie isn't in then it'll probably be his wife).
