Hi there! My name is Johnson Cock. I've lived in the wonderful and historic town of Ashby de la Zouch now for many, many weeks and I've never been to such a remarkable place since I came here.
Ashby de la Zouch is situated in the heart of England in the county of Leicestershire. It is about 25 miles north of Birmingham and about 12 miles south of Nottingham. It has the absolutely shite claim to fame that it is the furthest town from the sea anywhere in England! Some sad fucker even wrote a song called 'Ashby de la Zouch by the Sea', apparently.
So, to share the delights of Ashby de la Soul with you I've written this guide to help you along your way! Once you've arrived here, you won't believe what you've been missing!